Hunger Strike

I’m basically Ghandi.

Sure, Ghandi used hunger strikes as a way to make political statements and work toward equality, but my motives are pure too. I’m hunger striking to express my sorrow and anger that my sisters have both gone to college and left me ALONE. I mean, yeah, they’re expanding their horizons and making themselves better people… YADA YADA YADA… but they’re sacrificing my happiness to get there. Totally not worth it.

I’m trying to show Mom that I’m not getting enough attention and that I really REALLY don’t want to spend this much time with Junebug. It’s awful – there’s half as many people at home to distract Junebug from annoying me and I’m not sure how much longer I can take it. Yesterday, I was just looking at my reflection in the pool (if you compare me to Narcissus, I’ll unfriend you on Facebook) when Junebug ran up and pushed me in! It completely ruined my hair and my mom made fun of me all night about looking like a homeless dog. Stuff like this happens all the time and no one else can see how frustrating she is. And you know the craziest thing? I actually miss Nigel, my sister Lauren’s cat… I honestly never thought I would say that, but it’s true. Nigel is pretty fun to play with and he distracts Junebug from bothering me. It’s a win-win scenario.

Anyway, if my hunger strike works, my sisters will come back home from college (for my health). The only compromise I will accept is going to stay at my Nana’s house for a while. See, at Nana’s, I’m the center of attention. Piper, my cousin, is there to play with but I don’t have to compete with her for attention because she’s a little lazy so she doesn’t do a lot. I get to lay around, snack as much as I want, and play with toys all day. Plus, I never have to see Junebug. It’s really the ideal situation for me. I mean, I would rather my sisters come home from Oklahoma State but this will do until then.

So anyway, basically what I’m saying is that I think Ghandi would be proud of this noble cause.

PS: Lauren and Lindsey, if you’re reading this, please come home. I miss you lots and Junebug is ruining my life.

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