I have to be real with y’all. I’m a scaredy-cat (not all cats are scaredy, though, because Nigel tries to beat me up all the time) and I HATE being surprised. Obviously, that means I’m not super into Halloween. I guess it would be fun for humans because you get to hang out with friends, watch Hocus Pocus on repeat, and binge on mini Snickers bars, but I’ve been talking to my furry compadres and we’ve come to the consensus that Halloween stinks. Sorry, I don’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings but it’s the worst and I’m here to give you Halloween lovers a few guidelines to keep your furry friends happy and content on the scariest night of the year.
First of all, most of these are pretty self-explanatory but some people are actually dumb enough to feed their pups entire candy bars.
PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT – DON’T GIVE YOUR DOGS CHOCOLATE BECAUSE IT WILL MAKE THEM REALLY SICK AND YOUR NIGHT BECOMES A LOT LESS FUN AND ~SPOOKY~ WHEN YOU HAVE A $2,000 EMERGENCY ROOM BILL TO SAVE YOUR DOG’S LIFE.
Okay, that was a little harsh but like… seriously… just don’t do it because it can actually hurt us. In case your pet still gets into something, here’s the ASPCA poison control hotline number: 1-888-426-4435.
Here’s another obvious one: don’t leave lit candles or jack-o-lanterns where we can knock them over. It’s a proven scientific fact that jack-o-lanterns look a lot less cool when your house is burning down because your pup got a little too interested. Another thing you shouldn’t leave out – glow sticks. Don’t panic, I’m not going to yell at you again. Glow sticks aren’t actually poisonous but they taste really gross and if we try to play with one (can you blame us?) and it explodes, it makes us salivate and vomit. Oh, and the glow liquid may get all over your brand new couch. Oops.
This one is a little bit weirder… People are super into dressing their animals in Halloween costumes (16% of American Halloween participants will costume their pets, spending approximately $440 million this year!) but it’s important to remember that we may not be as excited about the costume as you are. Please make sure they are comfortable and don’t affect our ability to breathe, see, and hear. Also, don’t leave us alone in our costumes because we could get hurt. (In case you were wondering, I’m totally behind this new trend so stay tuned for pictures of me in my costume. It’s pretty cliché but I don’t even care because I look INCREDIBLE, which shouldn’t surprise you).
Sometimes we get really scared when there are loud noises and strange people around our house. Humans, make sure your pets have microchips and ID tags so that if they Harry-Houdinini you (that’s the cool way of saying “escape without you ever understanding how it possibly could’ve happened except by magic”), you can be reunited. It may be best to leave us in a room with the door closed to minimize our anxiety, but if that doesn’t calm us down enough, call the Northside Animal Clinic and make an appointment for an evaluation. They can help you keep your pet happy and calm, even if you won’t be because your doorbell literally won’t stop ringing.
Anyway, I better go finish working on my Halloween costume. I hope all of my furry friends and their owners have a happy Halloween!
Stay safe, stay spooky,
Gus
